Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
