I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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