I wanna bring you to show and tell
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
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