nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
