I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
