Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
