I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
