i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
