And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize