nutella sex= disaster
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
