White coat. Heels.
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
