sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize