got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
