belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I have aggressive nipples.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Randomize
