Buhtt sex?
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
