I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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