I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
