He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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