Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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