a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
