would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
