why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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