You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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