I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Randomize
