You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
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