we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Randomize
