Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
