in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Randomize
