My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
