Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
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