I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
