And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
