New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize