oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
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