Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
