I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
