So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
You are a booty call, not a friend.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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