Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
