I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
