I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
