When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
You don't make any sense
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