:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
