the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
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