remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
