Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
