I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
