all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
