Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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