I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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