why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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