He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Randomize