How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Randomize
