so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
