btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
