There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
