The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
