does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
