Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
