Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
