Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
