I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
They are going to name an STD after you.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
