Joe is yelling at the trees again.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I'd cum for enchiladas.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Randomize
