Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
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