Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
