At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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