hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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