3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Randomize
