at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize