that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
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